We have no reached, officially, one month of lock down. One month of not being able to go anywhere but the supermarket, work, or the doctor. It has been an emotional month. It started out with a sense of relief, no more getting up early, no more stress of being at work, time with my kids, time to teach my kids (preschool stuff), art projects and baking with my kids.
As the month went on, things became more uncertain, lock down was extended, restrictions were made stricter. I went through an emotional roller coaster with work. I still as of today, April 8, have not received my salary for February. My boss no longer responds to my emails or messages asking when to expect my salary. This situation has been a struggle for me. I’ve never been treated this way by an employer and has made me lose faith in Italian employers. I love this country, most days, the leaders of this country are smart and fair but the every day life here can be tough. I don’t want to play this game of corruption, everyone should be fair to each other and in these times of difficulty, help each other out.
We still don’t know exactly when “phase two” will occur, if it will be as as soon as the current restrictions expires on April 13th or later. We also don’t know what “phase two” will be, what will be allowed, what will not. We have no idea if the schools we reopen this Spring. Everything is so up in the air. This uncertainty has affected me a lot, it’s given me anxiety and I worry about what will happen, it’s such an unknown. I had good news yesterday though and it has calmed nerves a bit (I’ll write more on it later when things are more ‘concrete’).
I am trying my hardest to remember to treat myself with love, to speak to myself with love. If you don’t take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly how can you care for your family, especially in this time of uncertainty? It is OK to not feel OK, but remember the good things you have in your life and release the bad. Take away what does not serve you.
My kids have been strong, they love to be home. They have picked up the rhythm of the day, they are having fun. They are learning in a different way. They are learning simpler things in life like playing outside in the garden, playing with dirt, helping their nonna plant tomatoes and water the crops. Going for a short walk to see the butterflies flying in the fields. Riding their bikes and scooters on our driveway. They are happy.
Yesterday the kids and I made donuts, the original recipe called for baking them but I wanted a fried donut so I ended up frying them. The taste of them was good but the appearance was not photo worthy. Felicity and I decided to retry again today, but baking them, making a cake donut and frosting them pink for her and chocolate for Raffi. Hopefully these will be photo worthy.
Have a great Wednesday, treat yourself kindly and with love. We are alone, but in this together.